What is my biggest regret?
Updated: Nov 8, 2022
I’ll be honest. I received this question a little while back, as I was getting ready for my weekly Instagram live.
And I wasn’t sure how to answer on the fly.
Which of course made me extra-curious about my own answer.
So I journaled about it.
Below is an excerpt of what I wrote.
I somehow expected my body to react more intensely to the word. Like it does to vulnerability or gratitude, sometimes.
I guess that's because my answer would be that I have many. And none.
This may be the most cliché answer. But I am rolling with it.
The thing is, you can’t revisit the past. And my set of decisions, good and bad, is what got me here.
Yes, mistakes were made.
Yes, some still make my heart and soul ache when I think of them.
(usually at 3 am in bed.)
Yes, I sometimes wish I hadn’t made them.
(usually at 3.05 am in bed.)
I am this version of a flawed human being thanks to the lessons I had to learn from those same mistakes.
The mix of irrational compassion and outrageous willingness to not let these define me, combined with the impossibility of rewriting my past, gives me this one and only option.
And move forward with it all.
That being said, here are some of the lessons I am ready to share (here, publicly, for now):
It is never too late to change your mind. (That includes starting recovery, working on your belief system, etc.)
You will always disappoint someone. (That’s good news. Now you can focus on what you actually want or need.)
You already know SO much... but maybe you’re not listening.
Don’t make big decisions when feeling big emotions. (Even the positive ones.)
Friendship breakups are hard. Give yourself time to grieve these too.
You’re not supposed to do it all alone.
And so when regrets come knocking at my heart's door, and my inner critic grabs the mic, up there in my head, I try to remember that "this mess" (read: my life as a result of my own mistakes) is a value instead of a liability.
(Which is what I should have told my mother years ago about my room but I didn't know this to be true, back then.)
I do realise that I am mostly not writing about regrets. But this feels both honest and possibly (hopefully?) helpful to another human.* I am also quite certain I will come back to this topic in future posts.
Until then, I would love it if you could share some of your life lessons with me/us in the comments below.
*P.S. - Sharing parts of me online isn't about revealing all of myself or participating in the "look-how-my-life-was-hard-and-now-I-am-better-so-you-can-do-it-too" Olympics. I come to this work with the intention of sharing as responsibly as I can, making others feel seen, providing extra education (and maybe inspiration), as well as learning.
Why? Because I want my online spaces to be safe and brave.
Anne-Claire Jedrzejczak (she/her) is a Carolyn Costin Institute Certified Eating Disorder Recovery Coach, Registered Yoga Teacher (RYT500), and co-founder of The Recovery Collective. A former finance professional, Anne-Claire’s eating disorder recovery journey led her from the high-paced corporate world to the study of yoga, and eventually to eating disorder recovery coaching and mental health advocacy. She now guides others to meet their recovery goals, transform their relationship with food, their body, and themselves so they can live an authentic and fulfilling life.